That was what my sister kept repeating to me before I say “I do” to who is now my husband.
I never listened to her. I thought she was jealous of me.
“You are going to regret your decision a big time!” She continues her warning session,
“You are illegible to give any advice about marriage. You are an unhappy wife and a miserable mom. How could you teach anyone to be happy when you’re stuck in a sad pathetic relationship” I fired back after I lost control over my nerves.
She did not reply. She only looked at me with tearful eyes and broken smile, then whispered to herself:” that’s why I’m good in marriage counseling. I have experienced it all.”
My sister married a man she did not choose for herself. It was family arranged as in the case of most Saudi marriages.
Her whole marriage life is a nightmare.
Her husband belittles her. He disrespects her in public. He makes fun of her dreams to be a school mistresses and he actually forced her to leave her job. She eventually became dependent on him. Both emotionally and financially. He controlled her whole being, and she chooses to stay with him for the sake of the kids.
“Social media.” My friend answered, “it’s your only option. Even though It’s kinda distant relationship which sucks, but hey! That’s better than blind arranged marriages. Right!”
With the help of my friend, I set up an Instagram account and started to follow so many people. Some of whom were engineers, doctors, lawyers, and journalists.
I was amazed to see how far can some girls go to get the attention of a guy there. Some guys were easier than others. While some others seemed more respectful and serious. I thought that was my type.
He was serious and hard to get. And I fell for that very part. He was followed by more than 80,000 followers. At first glance, It seemed hard to compete with the crowd of girls over there, but I knew how to win him over. While those girls talk about food, make up and beauty, I talked about sport, science and martial arts. I got his attention at hello!
Our relationship deepened. We started to talk about our personal lives. A lot. Things went very well and I was head over heels for him. Two months after that, he officially proposed. Despite all the odds and questions in my family about how he and I knew each other, I succeeded to convince them all that he is my ideal husband.
During our two-month-engagement, I discovered more about the man whom he actually is. The man who ridicules girls who wear red lipstick. Who makes fun of girls who eat cupcakes and other garnished things. The one who hates fashionistas with passion and hates anyone who follows them. He even hates girls who uses hearts emojis online for one another. He thinks all those are shallow interests a real woman should not be busy with.
To be his one and only, I became the opposite of all that which he criticized. In other words, I became a male version of myself. He liked what he saw, and so within two months we were married.
Our honeymoon was spent mostly between social media apps and female fans who would stop him everywhere we go to take photos. He seemed happy to be famous. I did not mind but I was unhappy with the attention he was given. To be more accurate, with how that attention made him feel.
The more spot light he had on him, the more superior he felt. This turned him more into a control freak. To avoid dead-end arguments, I would let it go. Every single time.
What is the point of arguing with him anyway? He would always find an excuse for his rudeness. Almost every fight ends in me apologizing. He never does.
As time passes, I became that submissive weak woman who has no will. No word. No opinion of her own. I became my sister.
It is too late to think about divorce now. We are expecting our first baby girl within 4 months. A girl who I hope will have my old spirit before marriage. A girl who I hope will be able to “do better” than her mom.
My name is Nor and I write from Saudi.
I like to dance, eat bagels and talk to complete strangers.
Stories published including this one are always someone else’s story. Each story represents real characters come from Saudi.
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