Saudi

Moms aren’t angels! (English Version)

It’s worth mentioning that I have written this article with utter ignorance, I’m not a mom, and the closest parental role I currently practice is that of an aunt, which I practice out of love, not obligation.

I love children so much, and I am quite patient with their tantrums and misbehavior, yet I still cannot imagine spending more than 4 hours babysitting them. But who knows! Maybe that will all change with marriage, motherhood and responsibilities.

Even if that changes and I suddenly started to love their loud voices and high vibrations, I do not think I would be that type of mom whose society tries to impose some false maternal ideas inside her mind. Ideas that turn the whole motherhood experience into a real hell in all levels.

 During my studies, my readings in English literature, and through my friendships with many people from the west, I did not find any similar ideas in their culture. They believe that maternity is one more wonderful role in the life of a woman through which she can perform miracles which a man knows nothing about. 

They mostly believe that a mother plays a major role in educating and disciplining children to prepare them to be actively involved in the community within a few years.

However they also believe in her right to have some time for herself, for her hobbies, her readings, her friends or even a time to do absolutely nothing. 

As for us, Arabs, how we see a mother?

We describe her, or she is being described to us as a super-natural creature who wakes up every morning to carry the worries of everyone upon her shoulders. A super woman who should be anxious all day long, and should feel guilty if the kids didn’t like her lunch of the day. A woman who should put her children first and foremost before herself and her happiness in every single thing. 

A woman who should live by sacrifice over happiness, over sleep, over success or even over health; mental, physical or emotional.

The Greatest injustice a society practices against women is to rise such unhealthy standards for motherhood. The greatest injustice a woman practices against another woman is to question her motherhood or to label her as selfish when she deviates from those miserable “norms.”

Society does all that then compare between the Arab and Western mother inside out after years of marriage! 

If you simply look up the words “mother” and “أمي” in Google, you will see the difference in the nature of pictures you get with each search. Even though they both mean the same thing, each carries different vibes.

A mother is a big heart to contain you, but she is not an angel and should never be described as such, because holding such a title leads her to eat herself silently from the inside. It never does her any good.

I do not know about you, but when I become a mother, I will make sure to spend 4 hours daily of love and full dedication with my children. That’s way much better than spending 24 hours with them, while my mind is wandering somewhere else.

Girl, love yourself!

………………………………………….. ……………..

Hi,

Thanks for reading this post. Make sure to check out the rest. They are as cool!

I’m Noor Elhayat, and I’m a Saudi writer. I like to dance, eat bagels and collect stories.

If you like any of my posts, make sure to let me know! A like, comment or reblog will absolutely make my day!
Love💚

Noor

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19 thoughts on “Moms aren’t angels! (English Version)

    1. My husband’s parental role will start 6 pm every single day. And That’ll be so cool 😁😉
      Im interested to hear your view on motherhood though. How is motherhood defined to you and your family? What about your husband and your husband’s family?
      I’m looking forward to reading your part of the story!👏🏽

      Like

      1. I chose not to have children. I don’t regret the decision at all. My eldest niece is 31 yrs. old. There are 7 nieces and nephews from 3 of my siblings. However my partner has 2 (now adult) children from his previous marriage. He did look after them (meaning changing diapers, the whole works), cooked meals (he had to teach his ex-wife how to cook. Her mother died when she was a teen.) She did stay at home for a few years before returning to work. She chose this even though he suggested a nanny. My 3 sisters have husbands who do the full range of child-care and they all cook. They just don’t talk about it and nothing. I know because I visit them and have stayed with them when visiting. How are Saudi young men about this? Are they raised by parents to do household chores, looking after children (not just play with them)? Parenting is tough job for at least first 20 years of child… I am the eldest of 6 children, so I was delegated some childcare, housework .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow what a wonderful experience and life you have.
        I’m glad to read about your life decisions and how you’re at complete peace choosing something which may not be understood by all.
        Bravo Jean!💙

        Like

  1. Salam Alaykum Noor! I hope this comment finds you well. I really enjoyed reading your post, it got me thinking about how motherhood translates between cultures. This is something I want to investigate further. I liked your comparison between the west, and your culture. Myself, being from the west can agree with your analysis. I have many Arab friends and I can see the differences in motherhood even while they are living in the US. I respect them for this as I have learned to show more appreciation toward my mother (this also came with converting to Islam). Hope you find some time to write more posts in English.. my Arabic isn’t quiet there yet haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wa Alaikom alsalam dear💕 I’m so pleased that you like my blog and you find the posts interesting!
      Your view in noticing how motherhood is different based on culture is interesting too. Motherhood is changing to the better and that makes me glad. Moms now are more aware about their roles and their rights to live life. However, society needs to be educated.
      I’m glad you came by. Please keep visiting dear!👍🏼

      Liked by 1 person

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