“A side note: I am NOT married and I don’t have kids. Some readers may get confused! lol!”
Dear future son,
I thought it would be unfair to write a letter to your sister and forget about you. They say that a son is dearer to his mother than a daughter is. Well, I don’t really know how accurate that could be. I know one thing for sure; I will love you both unconditionally.
Honestly, It took me long to write this letter. I don’t know so much about men’s world. I would always tell your dad how much I want to sit inside his mind and see how he thinks and the places his mind goes, but each time he will tell me the same thing; “You won’t like it much there sweetie! You are better off without knowing everything”
I will never be convinced, but I will let it go. Every single time.
So, what can I teach you about which no one else can?
I am going to teach you things about women which you won’t hear from anyone else. You will probably learn them the hard way despite my words. Boys always want to discover for themselves. Girls tend to be more obedient. Or that’s what you will hear around. A lot.
One day when you grow up you will find a nice girl and fall in love with her. Or that’s what you will think. You will be a teen at the time. If you are a good boy, which I hope you will be, you will start to build pinky dreams about you two being married with a small happy family. I won’t know about it because you won’t tell me or your dad. You will think that we won’t understand. You will think we will judge you. I am here to assure you, we won’t.
Your story with your princess unfortunately won’t last long. Life will probably take you separate ways. You may get hurt and think that your heart is broken. It won’t and you will survive.
You will fall in love a thousand times after her till you find the right girl and eventually marry her. A girl who I hope you will have fallen in love with, first. You cannot live happily “ever after” without love. Your Saudi peers may try to tell you some tales about how family-arranged marriage lasts longer and how it is more successful and that you should let me choose your wife. Please be deaf around such brainwashing sessions. I won’t ever choose your wife. That’s your mission.
They will also tell you that the love inside a family-arranged marriage is way stronger. Please know this; in a traditional marriage, it is attachment and rarely love that makes the relationship last. You get used to someone’s presence in your life. Once the steam is over and you fall out of love, you stay for the kids, for the care, for the family. Never for you.
They will try to convince you that Islam prohibits love between men and women prior to marriage. Don’t buy such tales. Love is the essence of all religions.
But what will happen if you were a bad boy?
You will start with a typical love story; you will love a girl with all your heart. You will invest time, efforts, money on her. You will think that she’s the love of your life. But somehow she would eventually leave. Maybe she will leave for another cuter, richer, or taller man. Life will be hard on you sometimes and you two will be forced to move in different directions. You would be broken-hearted and you still won’t tell us. You will be afraid to fall in love again. You may start to hate all girls and think that they are all evil.
You will know early on in your life that some women are more dangerous than smoking. They cause your heart and soul a permanent pain if you let them. They are the ones that should come with warning labels, not cigarettes.
When you later meet other girls who seems to be good, you may want to take revenge of that same evil girl and so you will rush to leave them before they leave you. But leaving a bunch of broken hearts behind won’t make me or your dad very happy.
Or you may have a different reaction and start to take girls you like for granted, forcing them to leave you. Of course that’s all unconscious but you won’t understand. After they leave, you will start to act like a victim to get the attention of the world. You will need a big slap on the face to wake you up. Trust me, I will volunteer to give you that slap if I had to.
I will never allow some other woman to make you suffer while all I do is watch. I will interfere even if you don’t like it. I am not a democratic parent when it comes to matters of the heart. Things will remain between you and me. Your dad will be kept out of it.
Well, you can’t get enough emotional support from a man. That’s a woman’s job. That’s a mom’s job.
You may think you have the freedom not to fall in love. You won’t have that privilege. That’s the state of a dead man and you will be full of life. Just like me and dad.
You may choose not to get married. Society may dislike that decision. They may be suspicious and talk behind you about how playful as a man you maybe. Just ignore. That’s how you can live happily when in Saudi.
So, what’s the secret to making women fall in love with the real “you”, not your money or your looks?
Trust me, it is not even a secret. You attract who reflects you. That’s even a religious rule. Just be the best version of yourself. Love and respect yourself enough, and you are guaranteed to attract the most high-quality women on earth. And when you attract that one woman who will love you for “who you really are” that’s your best half in the world. That’s the love of your life.
If you happen to be stubborn just like me and decided to do the opposite of everything I have told you in this letter, that’s okay. I will love you anyway.
Mom and dad
Thanks for reading this post.
Please make yourself at home and have a look at my other posts as well. They are as cool!
My name is Noor Elhayat and I’m a Saudi writer. I like to write, dance and eat bagels.
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Love which you send to others, always comes to you multiplied!