Growing up in a society where husbands and wives don’t publicly hold hands, exchange flirtatious looks, or say “I love you”, Saudi girls find alternative in romantic movies and Turkish soap operas. When I say “publicly” I don’t mean public exchange of love out in the streets in front of strangers, I mean in front of their families or kids, where other people can feel love vibes in the air.
In Valentines Day, even though so many Saudis do not (or pretend that they do not want to) celebrate such occasion, Saudi women “or most of them at least” would be so hungry to see manifestations of love. Any sign that shows there exists happy couples who are head over heels for each other. Anything that illustrates that marriage is not a parallel with dullness or routine, but rather a bond of friendship, love and deep respect.
The excitement to reach February 14 of each year is not in the Valentine’s Day as an occasion of love, but rather to feel the love they get to only watch on TV.
The vibes Saudi women receive when witnessing power of love are important to re-establish wrong buried beliefs that stereotype Saudi men to be non-romantic, and Saudi women to be materialistic and careless.
Now, you may wonder, why do not Saudis show love in public?
It’s simply a society thing. It has absolutely nothing to do with religion. At all.
People are not used to public display of affection. Couples get often afraid of being judged as “too sentimental”, “inconsiderate of the feelings of singles” or “actors of fake happiness” in front of others.
The produce of love poverty is a new generation of young women who want wedding, not marriage. Women who all they care about in a man is being romantic and would scream “I love you” down her window. Women who want to marry a man who constantly validates his love for her through gifts she can show off in snapchat and Twitter to her followers and friends.
The produce is a generation of young men who think it is manly to let your woman beg for affection and love.
I am glad that some young Saudi couples have started a positive trend of change where emotions are expressed publicly and spontaneously. They are being criticized and attacked, yet love always wins and it will always do till the end.
P.S: this article does not represent all Saudi men and women. There are always exceptions.
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My name is Noor and I’m a Saudi writer.
I love to read, dance and eat bagels.
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Don’t miss out on my other articles as well. They are as cool!
Love,
Noorπ
Very cool insights here. Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks Miss_atieno for stopping by! π
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I agree – not just that Saudis could benefit from more public displays of love and affection, but rather the whole world could. When we live in a world where it is more permissible to display rage and hatred in the streets than love, there is something clearly wrong. Even the fanatical adoration that one sees in the media – for rock stars or even politicians – is more permissible and commonplace than actual displays of love. That some can no longer differentiate between these expressions and real love is also very descriptive for how our world is doing these days.
And while I’m not criticizing the idea of watching open displays of love and affection take place on television or in a film, I find it sad when this is the primary means by which someone experiences such things – vicariously, through fiction. And you might be surprised at how many people in the Western cultures where such shows and films are made, rely on such things as their own primary means of experiencing love and affection. It is not love or affection, but rather the burying down of love and affection that make us emotionally fragile and weak. It’s an irony – but I can tell from your writing here that you have noticed the same thing.
Out of curiosity, how is romantic interest generally made known in your culture?
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Thanks a lot for the comment. Im really glad it’s a universal thing, not just some domestic situation Saudis face.
The whole world could use more love. And you’re absolutely right about showing hatred and negativity. It has become easier to many people to be sour and negative with one another “especially their loved ones” than loving and positive.
It’s about time to make a change!
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http://www.makewarshistory.co.uk/?p=2167
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Great info Noor! My first thoughts were that there were some religious undertones to the lack of displayed affection. Thanks for clearing that up. Here’s to hope that you and the younger Saudi women continue to be agents of change. The world definitely needs to see more love! I believe it can change the way a lot of black men see and treat our women as well…
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Alvernon I’m so glad to know that my article has helped change your view. Change starts from inside indeed. Good luck with the change with you guys as well! Let the good vibes begin!
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Oh yeah…if you haven’t done so… read my post “The Duality of Al”…I mentioned you!!! π
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I will ππΌ
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Very interesting Noor, I am glad that there are some Saudi women that are trying to effect some cultural changes when it comes to displays of affection in public. I hope there is no harsh punishment for them.
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thanks for stopping by and for your comment. It is time to make a change and start living life right. As long as it’s mild flirting and the couple are married, things are fine legally speaking. π
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this is an interesting view. good post.
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Thanks Jim for stopping by!
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Very well expressed. Being an Asian, i would like to add up that this is the case in most Asian countries. People are just not used to of showing their sentiments in public. Agree with you ! π
Keep going!
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What type of Valentines day would Saudi’s approve of? I mean, as a British Asian, Valentines day is looked upon as a commercial success and less anything else. Showing once affection, love and appreciation isn’t really a schedule task for a set day. I do, although, approve of the generosity of each person on this day but the Valentines day does bring about it’s limitation and restrictions much like the culture of Saudi Arabia you’ve described.
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Hi! Thanks for stopping by!
The type of Valentines that Saudi society could approve of is that which can take place between husbands and wives.
I understand that Valentine’s Day is only to showcase love which may seem more superficial than genuine, but the point is it’s a day of love. Showing love away from movies and TV.
If people in Saudi can start to show love for their wives, husbands in a day, then let’s hope that that would be an intro towards celebrating more public display of affection during the rest of the year. Amen!
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One of my favourite blogs, If i had not chosen economics& statistics as a career I would have taken english-literature. Halal would read halali in Swahili by the way.
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Oh thanks Sara for your nice words! And thanks again for teaching me one Swahili word. That will be easy to remember. English Literature is fun for those who live literature. Enjoy Economics for now π
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You are welcome
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Noor, I look forward to your blog! I love that this forum allows us to share a piece of our world with people on the other side of the globe…
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As a ‘westerner’ I really look forward reading these types of posts. Thank you!
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I’m glad to know that Azileea! You may find my other posts appealing to your reading taste! Enjoy reading! π
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Hello! I’ve just started following you and this post was the most touching I saw in my skimming through your page. I’m excited to read more, because I believe in meeting new cultures and learning with them.
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Thanks Ingrid for stopping by! I too like to know about different cultures. It makes me think outside the box. I just love it π
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No or, you are so good at seeing what is going on in your culture. Yearning for good change is always heroic!
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Indeed it is Lisa! It’s both heroic & challenging but worth every effort! Thanks for stopping by π
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I love following you. Your posts are always articulate and informed. I look at your courage with awe.
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I love my readers too ππ I’m gonna have a look at your posts in a few mins
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I love the title of the post π
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Thanks Tam π
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You are an out-of-the-box thinker…
π
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Thanks Brian π
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De rien.
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Oh I’m sorry De rien. I thought your name was Brian.
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Haha! π My name is Brian. “De rien” means “you’re welcome” in French (of nothing) π
Brian
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Looool I should look up how it’s pronounced since I have learnt it already! π
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Haha! It may be difficult as it involves the E sound which is very peculiar in French. Here’s a link so you can practice… π
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Thanks for the link Brian ππ
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“De rien”. (Have you been practicing?)
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Yeah π π
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TrΓ¨s bien. I’m proud of you. π
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π¦
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Now I got it. That was supposed to be a smile. π
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Yeaaahπ
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Haha! (Meant to be laugh) π
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π
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It was supposed to be a smile lol π
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π Have a lovely week, “LumiΓ¨re”.
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You too π
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